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Companion Pets And Their Lives With Us

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The late Sweetie Pie

Bonus Chapter

While writing Living With Them, I’ve had to explore an entire new world of science, religion, psychology and other real braniac topics to educate myself about human – pet relations, what the Bible says about animals and how we relate to our companion animals. I’ve had many long conversations with veterinarians and pet chaplains. What I’ve learned is that while there is real science regarding our relationship with our companions, and while God says many things about animals and their treatment, we in western society is by far the most socially advanced when it comes to our relationships with pets on this planet. I’m sure someone is going to tell me about some tribe in the Amazon jungle that reveres their animals more than we do but my money is still on western culture for having the most significant relationships with companion animals.

If you are a pet owner, you know that your companion pets provide comfort, social stability, a handy excuse to leave family “events” and a great way to spend your excess cash and best of all, they provide companionship for the entire family.

Here is a remarkable photograph of Ted Bird and Little Bird. Ted passed away at 22 in October of 2015 and Little Bird came into my life 3 weeks later. They’re not related in any way.

Humans have been domesticating animals since the first humans gazed at the stars and wondered what it’s all about. Our pets throughout the development of societies have had many uses from hunting companions, pest control, companionship and even allowing the disabled to lead a normal life with service animals. A lot of us pet owners sometimes feel that we are service humans instead of the other way around since we have to provide feed, bathroom facilities, entertainment and companionship for them. However, do not forget that this is a two way street just like all relationships.

We all know that dogs are just so darn happy to see you, cats would prefer that you stop bothering them –  and the list of pet species is nearly endless. During my adult life, I’ve had birds, lizards, rabbits, dogs, cats, hamsters, fish, eels as pets, each with their own little personality. The higher order pets (dogs, cats, rabbits) have all been great companions but the important aspect to remember is that the endless variety of types and breeds of pets is astounding in modern society. It does come with pitfalls as well – the topic of un-spayed and neutered stray animals and breeding mills stand at the top of the hill. ¹/²

Sadly, our pets rarely live longer than we do which causes us much grief when they pass away which is where my book about grief and what I’ve learned about it, Living With Them comes in. My greatest efforts go towards educating people about in home euthanasia – a subject that is not nearly discussed often enough. Consider: Human hospice care allows the terminally ill to die at home. Our companion animals which share so much of our lives deserve at the end of their lives, to pass away peacefully in the arms and surrounded by their family, not in a sterile veterinarian’s office which they probably didn’t like going to in the first place.

I’ve used home euthanasia on multiple occasions and I can say that each time, while the grief of losing a friend is painful, knowing that they died in comfort dulls the pain and helps me heal emotionally much faster. I will freely admit that this path of end of life isn’t for everyone. Perhaps you have small children you want to shield from the event or even other pet brothers and sisters that you have doubts about seeing this event unfold before them. It’s a difficult choice but what I have learned about the topic is this: Plan ahead. Don’t wait until the last day with them to prepare. Take plenty of photos and videos of your pets. Share as much of your life with them as possible.

Take it from me – I buried a 22 year old cat in 2015; the pain of loss is beyond words sometimes but the peace of home euthanasia takes some of the pain away.

Here’s some excerpts from Living With Them.

Chapter 4

After Ted Bird passed away, I was in a terrible emotional state from the loss. There was one solace however, which was that I had taken a series of portraits of her the summer previous to her decline in health. Those images and videos allow us to remember her in good health – as healthy as a 20 year old cat could be. Part of my grief, that sits at the back of my mind, is that I should have taken far more videos and still images of her.

The technology that allows us to capture memories of our lives from our birth to our own deaths in stunning high definition is still early on in it’s abilities. While home video recording equipment has been around for a couple of decades, the real high definition abilities of digital cameras didn’t really develop until the past decade – what effect it has on our lives and memories of loved ones is still in it’s infancy. The ability to keep a photo and video journal of our lives will become more and more important as time goes by and entire generations have their lives documented. This seems to me to be a paramount issue for our society as technology continues to make it easier and easier to capture moments at the touch of a virtual button on a screen.

When we replaced Ted Bird with a kitten, I made the decision that I would document her life from the moment she came into our lives until either she or I pass away. Since I’m 57 and have health problems, it’s a toss up as to who lives the longest. I don’t look at that outlook as a fatalistic viewpoint – I prefer to be a realist and take into consideration as many aspects of life, living and relationships as I can. It’s been my experience that the ability to step back and look at life from arm’s length is something that we humans don’t do often enough. The realization that we have a finite time in this life isn’t something the average person dwells on. The ability to document so much of our lives is stunning in it’s importance – like a real life Truman Show.

Chapter 6

You may have heard the term “teachable moment” that’s so popular with politically savvy people. These are my personal teachable moments, the stories of them, my remembrances of them and what I have learned along the way and the teachable moments that come along with the pain of being left behind. Each person, every companion animal that I and those around me have known is special in their own way. Some are irreplaceable. Some pets, as a friend of mine’s wife says, come back to us if we love them. The experiences that I’ve had recently, the catalyst for this book, have shown me little doubt that this is true.

When remembering the parts of my life that I shared with this menagerie of pets, it’s their personalities and how they interacted with me and those around me that elicits the most powerful memories. These memories, while they may be colored by my interpretation of them, are a part of the whole of who I am, just as your memories make you who you are. While it’s well known that memories are usually faulty in their accuracy, studies have shown that when under duress – during a negative event such as a death, memory is more accurate ¹. While we’re told that our memories are faulty and not to be trusted by the latest psychobabble publication or talking bobble-head, these memories, whether faulty or not, are parts of our whole, all mixed together to define who we all are. A for instance is that I am, while writing this, handing out yet another head scratching to a cat with demands. At what point when I remember this will the memory become inaccurate? How long does it take for a memory to become wishful thinking? I’ve come to the conclusion using my photography and videography that whatever it is that has been damaged in my brain, the foggy thinking, the muddled problem solving and the issues the go along with it, I have addressed through tricks and techniques that have and do allow me to be more accurate in my remembering events. I walk around like some seedy detective with my notepad, writing everything down which has helped me regain some accuracy when attempting to remember events and conversations.

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